About Dressing "Modestly"

1: Thrifted Michael Kors | 2: Owls | 3: Puppies in the Snow | 4: 50 Shades of Pink!

I recently came across an blog post entitled, "Why Modesty Is Wrong" thanks to a former co-worker. Honestly, I was surprised to see this point of view, especially on a Christian-based website. As a young Christian woman, I have been told multiple points of view on what is "appropriate" to wear. But also as a feminist, I have been told an entirely different slew of ideas on why women (and men) should be allowed to dress however they want. But most importantly, as a "plus-size" woman, I have been told how I should dress more often than not by everyone.

This post; however, has finally put into words what all three of those defining characteristics have in common, and what I have always wanted to say but somehow couldn't express in quite the right way. My body, my clothes, and me in general, are beautiful, powerful and deserve (if not demand) respect. While I have a high level of self confidence that societal standards say I shouldn't, this post struck me because finally someone (and a man, at that) was putting a feeling that I've always had into a well-written piece of work. This part is what inspired me the most...

"If we can move away from the shrill condemnation of the Modesty Lifeguards and return to a positive view of clothing, we may find ourselves both more beautiful and more appropriate to living as valued persons, honoring and respecting one another. God wants every one of us to reflect him in the earth. Objectifying our beauty dehumanizes all of us. Fearing that our beauty is too much for others to handle shames us and others. There is another way. The God who became flesh wants to see our beauty. Let's dress knowing that he celebrates us as his reflections on earth." - Dale Fincher on Convergent

....

As a Christian, I am tired of being told I have to dress a certain way as to not cause men to "stumble" by looking "too beautiful" or dressing "too sexy." I'm tired of being told that I must dress "appropriately" so that my brothers in Christ do not have impure thoughts about me.

As a feminist, I am tired of being told I have to dress a certain way as to show that I am the owner of my body and that my sexuality is allowed to be expressed and if men (and/or other women) are unable to keep their eyes and impure thoughts off of me that is their problem, not mine.

As a plus-sized woman, I am tired of being told that I have to dress a certain way that includes baggy clothes and dark colors. This way, my "flaws" are covered up or just happen to look smaller because "black is slimming."

As a Christian, feminist, plus-sized, woman, I am allowed to dress as I please. I am allowed to look cute, modest, fashionable, beautiful, even sexy, if I choose. And while I understand that what I wear might cause a different kind of reaction for different people, my clothing choice wasn't about those people. I didn't think about all of you while I was standing in my underwear looking blankly into my closet and thinking the daily thought of "I have nothing to wear." To be honest, in that moment, I was selfishly thinking of me. I was also mildly considering the weather, what activities I might encounter, how I feel, and what I potentially need to be prepared for. But whatever ended up on my body that day, was because I was thinking about me. I was thinking, "It's snowing but I still really want to wear a skirt." Or "how can I dress as bummy as possible and still be within the work dress code?"

I wasn't thinking about your Christian morals, your feminist agenda or your thoughts on curves. Because it's MY Christian morals that tell me, it's what's on the inside that's important anyway and if a man looks at me and only thinks of sex, he needs more than just for me to put on a hoodie. It's MY feminist agenda that says, I'm going to put on whatever I want and it doesn't make me any less feminist if that outfit is cutesy and/or doesn't allude power. And it is MY appreciation for every single curve on my body that always makes me leave the house saying, damn, I look good.