Cupid: as portrayed by Chelsea

Love is in the air, Pittsburgh! I'm sure many of you are probably going to celebrate this weekend, since Valentine's day falls on a Tuesday it's sometimes hard to make an outing happen during the week. So I will happily play Cupid and help you plan a Perfect Pittsburgh Valentine for this weekend! But for an added bonus I'm going to focus on the Five Love Languages because I fully believe in the fact that they are real and help make sure your message of "I love you," is heard loud and clear, especially on Valentine's day.

First off, if you're a newbie to the Five Love Languages world, fear not, I'll explain what each one means and how to really cater to which one most relates to your partner. Now keep in mind that these do not just apply to people who are in love. They remain true across the board on how you can best relate to anyone you love; your parents/children, roommate, boyfriend/girlfriend, siblings, best friends...anyone. Everyone has at least one primary way that they receive love the most. Although I'm not a fan of putting people in categories, I've never seen these five categories fail. The five love languages are; Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

Now first, if you're going to go along with any of the date ideas I have below, you'll have to figure out which one applies to your partner. With some people it is really obvious or easy to figure out which one applies most to them. But others, you just have to ask or seriously think about. When I was first introduced to the idea of the Five Love Languages I was in my first year of working as a camp counselor at Jumonville and everyone on staff had to figure out and then share which language most applied to them. This was a brilliant idea because for the entire summer we would be together and working very closely, we really needed to know how each of us felt loved and appreciated if we wanted to properly support each other and our campers once they arrived.

So how do you figure it out? Well first, imagine the human who you think really loves you. (When I first did this I imagined my brother, since he's basically my best friend.) Now, how do you know that person loves you...and don't try to say "because they're my mom and they have to," that's a cop-out, you've got to really think here. So for example, I know my brother loves me because; he encourages me to do great things (words of affirmation), he gives me meaningful gifts that he knows I'll really like (receiving gifts), he drives me places when I need a ride (acts of service), he always hugs me when I see him (physical touch), or he's always been there for me (quality time). While all of these statements may be true, whichever one of those holds true the MOST with you, is your primary love language. For me, the one that is the MOST TRUE, is that my brother has always been there for me, making me a quality time person. If none of this makes sense, there is a little test you can do on the Five Love Languages website you can take, but it only talks about a husband/wife relationship so, you can still take it if you're not married but just keep in mind the Love Languages are not JUST for married couples.


Now, onto some Pittsburgh-themed Valentine's Day date ideas......

From The Handmade Valentine website.

1) If your partner is a Receiving Gifts person: this might make them seem like a materialistic person or greedy, but that's far from the truth. This kind of person just feels loved the most when the person they love puts a lot of thought into the gifts they give. If you're in the Pittsburgh area and your significant other is this type of person, take them to The Handmade Valentine. This is a great workshop class that the Cultural Trust is sponsoring and is sure to be a fun time. You both can go together, make each other a variety of Valentine's and then exchange them. Not only will your gifts lover, love that you put thought into each Valentine you make, but it will be a memorable experience for both of you, making the valentines mean even more to your other half.

2) For the Acts of Service lover: this person cannot get enough of when the one they love offers to help them out, even if it's just some everyday chore, and broken commitments to helping out really hurt them. If your lover is this type of person...stay in! If you're not living together then invite them over to your place, or if they wouldn't mind, take over their kitchen. Make them relax (with their feet up, of course) while you prepare something yummy for the two of you, even if that means heating food up and just nicely setting the table. Transform your dining area into a nice restaurant and dress up a little...the extra effort will not go unnoticed! Then after dinner, you two can fight over who gets to clean up, the Acts of Service person usually likes to serve just as much as they like to be served.

From the City Data website.

3) The Words of Affirmation person: this person likes unsolicited compliments. Hearing why they are loved and admired mean everything to them, so obviously any insults are hard to forgive. For this person, I suggest going to any of the fabulous restaurants on Mt. Washington. Two important men in my life have taken me to the Georgetown Inn and the Grandview Saloon in the past, both fabulous. But any restaurant up there will give you a full view of this gorgeous city. You and your words of affirmation lover will at first be at a loss for words with that view, but it sets the mood. This is where the mushy part comes in...prior to going out, while you're still alone, write a letter to your partner about why you love them. Make. It. Specific. Really put your feelings out there, they'll appreciate the more you tell them. Then while waiting for your food, lean in close, pull out the letter and READ IT OUT LOUD to your words of affirmation lover. Make sure that you are genuine when you read it and that you are not making a show of it to the whole restaurant, that's just annoying to everyone. When you're finished, let your partner keep the letter so they can read it over and over again whenever they need a little pick-me-up. (You might want to bring a couple tissues too.)

4) The lover of Physical Touch: this does not mean that this person is all about the sexual aspect of your relationship and that's it, but they could be defined as that "touchy" person everyone knows. Hugs or a pat on the back go a long way with them and they appreciate when people are accessible to them. If your lover is this kind of person, as long as you're holding their hand throughout the date, they are happy. But, if you're in the Pittsburgh area, come downtown for a date night at The Rink at PPG Place. This Saturday they are having special prices for couples and the first 108 women get a free flower...awwww. And, don't use the excuse that you're a horrible skater, because your touch loving partner, will love holding your hand to skate and falling all over each other all night.

Part of The Priory's courtyard.

5) Finally, the Quality Time person: this person requires your full-undivided attention and needs to know that you are physically and emotionally supportive of them. The phrase of "being there" for this kind of person is exactly what they need. Failure to listen to this person is a big no-no. (Anyone who knows me, can obviously tell that I am the definition of a quality time person). If you're in a relationship with this kind of person and want to impress them for Valentine's Day, you need to be with them. But, if you're looking for something really special, check out The Priory for their Romance, Romance package. The Priory is a gorgeous little hotel that you would not expect to find in Pittsburgh and their newly renovated rooms are so luxurious and their outdoor courtyard is so cute. They have a few different and great packages to take advantage of, but I think the romance one would be perfect for Valentine's Day. However, what you do is not an issue with a quality time person, as long as they have the feeling of your full attention. Any of the date ideas mentioned above would work for this kind of person, because it's really not hard to impress someone who's only expectation of date night means that you will be there.  


So what am I doing for Valentine's Day? MJ (my perfect boyfriend) and I are doing a double-dose of it this year. This weekend we are doing what I want to do, AKA: see a sappy chick flick (The Vow!!!!) and then next weekend we're doing what he wants, so I'm taking him to the Pittsburgh International Auto Show (I even scored us a discount). Since we rarely get to see each other, between our busy schedules and the distance...being able to spend two weekends in a row together is a big deal to us. And nothing says forever love like coupons and compromise.